Loving in Heaven and Earth Read online

  One night, Hala built a fire and we all watched Wolf dart around it, chasing sparks on legs that were strong and sure.

  "You're a miracle worker," Hala said. "I never would have believed it was possible."

  "You've seen so much wonder in your life. It's hard for me to understand why you still harbor so much doubt. You've seen a thousand miracles, yet you never expect the next one. Why is that?"

  He studied me as though he hadn't really seen me before. "You've seen the darkest side of life and you constantly believe in the light. Why is that?"

  I grinned. "Maybe we need each other."

  He held my eyes for a long time. "Maybe we do." He stood, and I expected him to ruffle my hair, but instead, he brushed my cheek with the backs of his fingertips, leaving a trail of fire on my skin, before he went into the forest for more firewood. I glanced over at Risa, who was preparing our food, feeling guilty and thankful she hadn't seen the exchange.

  What do I have to feel guilty about? I asked myself. I have done nothing. Not really. Not yet.

  Hala emerged from the woods, his arms full of sticks. He winked at me, and I realized I longed for him to touch me again, the way he had. He hadn't touched me like a father touches a child. He had touched me the way a man touches a woman. It was the way he used to touch Risa when I'd first met them. Now he stayed away from her, always kind but never close. The most secret part of my heart rejoiced.

  ~*~

  We came upon a man leaning against a tree at the top of a riverbank. A brown and white horse munched on the tall grass next to him. "Good day," he said to us, pushing himself to his feet. His leather pants clung to his long legs. His soft cotton shirt hung loose to his hips. A shock of red hair fell across his forehead.

  I glanced at Hala, who smiled widely. Did he know this man?

  "You're a rider for the Storykeepers," Hala said, reaching out a hand.

  The man shook it, nodding. "Collin," he said. "What gave me away?"

  "I am Hala. These are Risa and Jax. I made an educated guess, based on the books spilling out of your saddlebags."

  Collin laughed. "Fair enough. It's a pleasure to meet you. I don't have much to offer in the way of comforts, but the view is lovely. Perhaps you'll stay and share your story with me?"

  "We'd be happy to," Hala said. Beside him, Risa's eyes gleamed.

  "You ride for the Storykeepers?" I asked when we were all seated.

  "That's right. I spend more time on the back of a horse than I do with my feet on the earth, but it gives me the chance to meet amazing characters like the legendary son of the shape-shifter, Atsheena."

  I was stunned. "How do you know who he is?"

  Risa laughed. "The Storykeepers are practically omniscient, Jax. They know everyone's history."

  "Not yours, young lady," Collin said to me. "But I love to hear a good story."

  I shook my head. "There's not much to tell."

  Risa nudged my foot with her own. "She is too modest. Jax has traveled the world, fought in fierce battles, survived an encounter with frenzied blood-drinkers, and came back from the brink of death."

  My cheeks burned.

  "Oh, now, you must tell me! I live for a good story, you know."

  I shook my head. I couldn't find it within myself to tell of all that. This moment was so pleasant, I wanted to wrap it around myself and let nothing else in. "A friend gave me a notebook. Perhaps one day I will write my story for you to read."

  Wolf crawled into my lap and licked my face before settling down upon my legs.

  "I do hope so," he said, his eyes wide upon the animal who could no longer really be called a puppy.

  "What news can you share?" Hala asked him.

  His face grew solemn. "News of war, I'm afraid."

  Would there be no end to the talk of war?

  "The Fae destroyed a city on the coast. Burned it to the ground."

  Risa shook her head. "They wouldn't do that."

  The muscle in Hala's jaw jumped, but he said nothing.

  "They made a statement about the natural order of things. Said man was never meant to fly. To try was an abomination against the created order."

  His words made no sense to me. "Fly?"

  "They built an airplane. A jet. It was intended to cross the ocean."

  Hala leaned forward. "No one has flown a jet in five hundred years."

  "They've been flying them for months, testing them out. They went from Carolina to the Mississippi River and back in an hour." He shook his head. "Imagine returning to the days when humans traveled every corner of the earth between breakfast and supper."

  We sat silent for a moment, doing just that.

  "Well," he said. "The Fae have put an end to it, or at least delayed it. Sadly, to hear the engineers at Carolina talk, the next plane that will go into the air will carry more bombs than people. The king of New Faerie better build a stronger fortress. I'm afraid he's poked a hornet's nest."

  The tension in the air came to life at the mention of the king of New Faerie.

  The rider's eyes roamed our faces. He must have sensed something was wrong, but even in his hunger for stories, he did not ask. Instead, he changed the subject. "May I ask why Hala, leader of the famous Tower City, is wandering these hills?"

  I looked at Risa, but her face remained impassive. Whatever her feelings, they were hidden behind the beautiful mask she wore.

  Hala leaned back against the tree. "Leader of Tower City no more. I have left that place in the capable hands of Edward Freeman and his son-in-law, William. It will thrive under their leadership, I've no doubt. We are on a pilgrimage, for lack of a better word."

  "Looking to build a new Utopia?"

  "You know that what I built was far from perfect."

  "Perfection doesn't exist on this side of the Realms," Risa said.

  Hala glanced at her, then shrugged. "I don't know what we're looking for, exactly, but when we get there, I will be certain."

  The rider seemed to accept this answer. He dusted his hands on his pants and reached into his pack, producing a leather folder full of blank paper. "Can I carry a letter for you?"

  The idea delighted me. I could write to Puah! Gratefully, I accepted the blank sheet and a pen. Hala and Risa seemed as pleased as I to take them, and we all spent the next hour in silence, sharing our thoughts with those we left behind. When we were done, Collin took the notes, glanced at the names we'd written upon them, and nodded. "It will take a few weeks, but these should be easy enough to deliver." He held up one of three that Hala had completed. "Maybe not Donovan's. Hard to say when and where he'll turn up."

  Hala nodded. "I understand. Thank you for your kindness and your good work."

  Collin tucked our letters into his pack, and then the three of us were alone again.

  Conversation with the stranger had been easy and interesting, but now that he was gone the strange tension that had been building since our time in New Faerie came back, stronger than ever. We spoke little to one another. While I waited for the others to be ready to move on, I stood at the top of the riverbank, watching the water move over rocks and fallen trees. I imagined following it to where it spread itself into wide fingers and spilled into the endless ocean. The water there would be warm and wild, just like the land. It wouldn't be the icy expanse I'd known before.

  Hala came up beside me. "We can follow the water, if you like."

  I looked up at his beautiful eyes. "No," I said. "If there is a chance of encountering the Fae… Risa would never be safe there. Let us get away from this place and the unrest that plagues these lands."

  He nodded and said no more.

  I slipped my hand into his, relishing the feel of his hard, calloused palm against my own. If my touch surprised him, he didn't show it. His grip was warm and strong.

  A beaver scampered along a branch on the other side of the water, watching us with curious eyes.

  Wolf ran along the riverbank, barking at the strange little animal. We stood there toget
her until Risa joined us, silently sliding her hand into mine. In that way, I was muted as I had been for most of my life and, in that moment, I was glad for it. If I read a thousand books I'd never have enough words to explain the churning magma of emotion within me.

  Hala and Risa held my hands.

  They anchored me.

  Let all the world rage and war. As long as I had my family, everything would be OK.

  ~*~

  The air grew cooler as we climbed, the leaves on the trees taking on the softness that preceded the wondrous display of autumn. We walked, wolf racing on ahead of us. The past began to feel far away, and we laughed easily again. Life was simple and good.

  In the mornings we woke and ate, broke camp, and started walking. When we grew tired we stopped and rested, but never for more than a day. "We're not there yet," Hala would say.

  On the night we found a limestone cave to sleep in, Risa spoke the words of my heart. "It's so beautiful here. We could stay. We could start a family here. It would be a perfect place."

  "Risa…" Hala said, sadness touching his eyes.

  "No, really," she hurried on. "We could thrive in this place. You must be able to see that."

  He looked to me, but I had nothing to offer.

  "No. This isn't the right place. We're not there yet."

  That night, as had become our habit, Risa and I slept cuddled together for warmth near the fire. Hala sat near the entrance to the cave, scratching Wolf's ears. I stared at the broad outline of his back and wondered what he'd thought of her statement about starting a family. As far as I knew, it was the closest she'd come so far to telling him about my offer.

  ~*~

  We descended the mountains, leaving the chill behind us, and came into a land that seemed to be what the Great Swamp of the north was only imitating. Monstrous moss-hung trees grew out of knee-deep green sludge. We picked our paths carefully, sticking to high ground and rocky areas, but we found our legs covered in mud by the end of most days anyway.

  Risa slipped and fell in the thick green murk. A snake slipped through the water and she scampered backward, away from it. "Where in the Holy Name of That Which Is are you leading us, anyway?" she demanded, throwing her hands up. "If you don't even know where we're going, can't we change course? Can't we go any other direction? This is ridiculous!"

  Hala helped her to her feet. The turn of his mouth showed that he was fighting to keep his laughter contained. "We could go a different way, but from what the rider said, I think this route will lead us through the town where Dragon and Stella have settled."

  Her eyes widened, annoyance wiped away by sheer joy. "Why didn't you tell me? That's wonderful! How far is it?"

  He shrugged. "I have no idea. I've never been there before. I thought it would be a nice surprise for you. I should probably say, though, that the rider told me to be aware that powerful magic is in the air there--the kind of magic that makes people a bit mad."

  We walked on, and Risa told me about her friend, Stella, who'd married a descendant of the god, Pan. His kind, the satyrs, had thrived in this area thousands of years ago, but the rise of the Great Population saw them nearly wiped out.

  "Stella has a powerful Gift of Healing," she said. "My goodness. Their first child was still an infant when they left. He must be walking and talking by now!" Her hand lay over her heart. "Puah's grandmother went with them. She felt like it was a grand adventure she'd waited far too long to take. She's a gentle spirit. You're going to love her."

  Our excitement drove us onward.

  Fourteen

  We came to a winding river, half a mile wide. A row of houses built on tall stilts stood like sentinels a hundred feet back from the bank. Three boats, bigger than any I'd ever seen, bobbed in the gentle current.

  A group of children with skin as black as the night sky, tight, curly hair, and little horns growing from their heads saw us and scampered away, presumably to alert the adults that there were strangers in the area.

  A creature as dark as the children, with the broad, muscular chest of a young, healthy man, and the legs and horns of a goat stepped from one of the doorways and waved a hand at us. He came down the steps to the earth and walked out toward us. "Bonjou!"

  I glanced at Hala, who repeated the word back to him. A greeting, I presumed.

  When we reached him, he held out his hand. Hala shook it. The smell that surrounded him was eye-watering, but somehow not entirely unpleasant. I fought against an inexplicable urge to reach out and run my fingers along the well-defined muscles of his stomach.

  He raised an eyebrow at me, as though he heard my thoughts and had no objection.

  "I am Adolphe," he said. "This is my home."

  "I am Hala. This is my match, Risa, and our dearest friend, Jax."

  Adolphe's smile could light the world. "Beautiful women are always welcome in my home, and if they come with a man, I can accept that, too." He threw his head back and laughed, apparently for no reason at all except the joy of laughter. His happiness was contagious. I couldn't have wiped away my smile if I'd tried.

  Wolf pressed his front paws to the man's leg, begging for attention.

  "What is this? You bring a vicious animal, now tame, along with you as well?"

  Risa leaned in when she spoke to him. "Jax rescued him last spring," she said. "Now he thinks she's his mother."

  Maybe his scent wasn’t so bad. Actually, it was rather pleasant. How could I have thought otherwise? A delicious warmth coiled tightly in the center of my belly.

  Adolphe's attention fell upon me. "Beautiful, merciful, and Gifted. Welcome, indeed."

  The heat blossomed, rising into my chest. If he reached out and touched my breast, I was sure it would burst into flame, and I'd be devoured in ecstasy. I swallowed hard, trying to clear the lump in my throat.

  He laughed again. "What brings you to the end of the Great Mississippi?"

  "We are traveling, and we have friends who had intended to settle in this region a few years ago," Hala explained. His eyes flicked between the houses and Adolphe's face as though he was having trouble focusing on him.

  I looked up and saw several women standing on the balconies, their breasts bare to the warmth of the sun. Some wore short scraps of cloth around their waist. Some not even that. They leaned over the railings and lounged against the wall. Their effect on Hala was clear to see.

  I turned to Risa. She held her hand at her throat, her chest rising and falling with her quick, rapid breaths.

  Adolphe looked at me again and I knew, at a word, I'd give myself to him.

  His grin widened a fraction.

  I inhaled deeply, stoking the fire within me.

  I forced my eyes back to Hala: beautiful, strong Hala. His full lips formed each word as if it were a kiss. His body moved with grace and power. I had promised to have his baby. Had it ever seemed a frightening thought? Letting him inside of me? I ached for it. I needed him inside me. I would die from desire. I yearned to have his child in my womb.

  "…almost three years now," I saw him say.

  "Dragon! I know the man! Insists on just the one wife. Something wrong with that man, but my, what a woman! Maybe she's enough."

  "Can you tell us how to find him?"

  "I'll do better than that, man. My boy will take you to Orleans in a boat."

  "Orleans?"

  "The city, man! It's there your friend, Dragon, lives. He's a builder there."

  Hala nodded. "That would be him."

  Adolphe turned toward the house, presumably to shout for someone, and then toward us again. His eyes roamed the full length of Risa's body.

  She shivered under the visual assault.

  "I'd take you myself, man, and your women might thank me for it, but you seem a nice fellow, and I don't want you to hate me. It's why I moved to the swamps. The women who come to me now do it intentionally. Every Gift comes at a price, right, man?"

  Hala swallowed, his eyes moving to the women again.

  "Don't fe
el bad, man. I feel the pull of your Gift as well. Imagine the fun we could have together!"

  Hala rubbed at his chin and took a deep breath. "It would be memorable."

  This seemed the most humorous thing yet. The satyr practically fell to the ground in laughter. "I like you, man. I hope to see you again. I'll send my boy out now.” He bowed to us and skipped away, slapping his son on the back as he passed.

  The boy couldn't have been more than ten years old. He grinned, like his father, but he didn't exude the same dark, musky odor or have the same pull on my body. I gave thanks for the relief, even as I ached with unfulfilled longing.

  "My name is Jean-Francois. I will take you to the city." He strode off toward one of the large boats, leaving us to follow.

  I put a hand on Hala's arm, became instantly aware of the flex of his hard muscles, and pulled it away as though burned. "He is going to drive the boat? He's just a boy."

  Hala shrugged. "He seems very confident."

  He followed the boy, and we followed him. I caught Risa glancing back toward the house with a look that could only be described as yearning.

  On the boat, Jean-Francois led us to a little cabin in the center of the craft. "There's a shower in there," he said, pointing. "You're welcome to use it while we travel, if you like. No hot water, though."

  A shower! My heart leaped at the thought. I asked Hala and Risa if they'd mind my going first, and she answered for both of them. "You go on ahead. We… have a few things to… you know… talk about."

  I blushed, suddenly painfully aware of the little bed in the cabin.

  The washroom provided welcome refuge. I stripped out of the clothes that were stiff with mud and sweat and who-knows-what from the swamp and stepped into the heavenly spray of fresh water. A little shelf held a bar of soap and I worked the frothy lather into my hair, rubbing it into my scalp until it tingled and letting the grime rinse away. I scrubbed every inch of my body, inhaling deeply of the scent of pine that rose up from the bubbles.

  I remembered the way Adolphe's presence had affected me, and my nerves grew raw and fiery.